Dear Kimberly,

Your face is on the side of our Jam Van.  It was painted there by one Jules Muck.  She is apparently a big fan of your catalogue and personage.  I myself am not very familiar with your music, and of you what I know is mostly from the fuck-fuck scenes in that Biggie Movie.  Also whatever I read in the Newsies about you doin’ hood rat shit.  So back to the matter at hand, your punum, our Jam Van.

Basically, the way I sees it is you pretty much owe us, pretty much big time.  That shit is art, and that Van is like a God amongst other vans, so you basically got arted (not farted)(maybe farted) on a God, fo’free.  So in an effort to make this not fo’free (cause we ain’t the Catholic Church girl), I’m writing to ask you to be a part of a once in a lifetime experience.  Get your music off of that same tired out old road (hood rat lane).  Come ride with us on a new one.  Jam in the Van Lil’Kim, come tear that shit up, and as Kurt Cobain is my witness, I will kick Captain Jack square in the nuts if you drop those rhymes, and we will film it (the rhymes and the nut-kick).

Hit me back on ma’Twitta, oh ma’Facebook, or jus’beep’at’ma pager. 

Hallelujah-holla-back girl,

JV Smoove

p.s. Fuck Nicki Minaj

Book for the Week:  Redneckin’ Made Easy – By Bo (god I hope it’s short for Bosephus) Whaley

Link for the Day: #9 – Off he goes… Off I go…