So last night we took baby girl out for a spin. It was our first real test run since Mike the Muck-chanic spruced up her bells and whistles (ed. note: and brakes). Our original intentions were to make it to the eastern side of town by 6PM in order to catch the Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks set at Amoeba. However, something caused me to take a nap around 4PM and us making it on time for that show certainly did not happen. I did manage to stream the last two songs of the show online and it looked terrific, Malkmus is my shit. I wish I could’a caught it, but you try getting a Jam Van prepped and ready to ride before traffic kicks in at 4PM. It’s tough, but we knew that already.
On the other hand, some things that we didn’t know but discovered last night are as follows:
– Brakes are awesome. That bitch drives like a race-car right now. Middle of the country, we will see your open roads very soon the way the beast is purring.
– If you need to park in a parking lot because you’re hungry, but the parking attendant, whose grasp on English is not tops in the class, tells you that you can’t pull in there because your Jam Van is too big, the best possible solution is for the driver in the van to say “we’ll give you sunglasses! Free! They’re really nice!” Then jack the parking attendant in the face with a pair of Jam Van shades. Not even lying, it works every-time, and you will get to park.
– If you are driving around throwing shit at people, you need to pay attention to what you are throwing, especially if you plan on putting your bag of squeef inside of the box that you are throwing shit out of (ed. note: also learned not to keep bag of squeef in a box that I’m throwing shit out of). Anyways, to whomever it is that caught that lucky zip-lock baggy outside of the Silverlake lounge last night, I hope you made good use of it. I’m pretty disgusted with myself re: this bullet point, so we’ll move on (ed. note: who the fuck does that?) (ed. note: a dumbass).
– They will let you into the Echo with a Gorilla suit on, but NOT with the Gorilla mask on as well.
– A Gorilla suit without a Gorilla mask is not very Gorilla at all.
– Securing the Computer before driving is a good way to not have the computer fall and break stuff.
In quick synopsis, we learned a great deal last night, all will be useful in the future. The Allah Las again killed it. Even if this time, the albeit large crowd cared not so much to shimmy and shake, but rather preferred to see whom could stand still the longest while dressed the most ridiculously. This stand-still-athon was unfortunate, because the band really does provide a good excuse to let loose, and as of last night I can officially say they are decent dudes. We had a nice post-show chat with lead guitarist, Pedrum Siadatian (ed. note: whom one chicken-head in attendance claimed looks like me)(ed. note: lucky him). Hopefully in the near future we will get an Allah Las Jam Van session. That would be groovy.
Side note: To the guy with the crazy perfect mullet. Joe Dirt wasn’t clean. He didn’t shop at Sax-Fifth Ave. for his jeans, and he wasn’t a bitch.
Alright, I’m gonna split off now, because if I dilly-dally any longer they are gonna come out with the results of today’s Sunset Dysfunction Junction hearing and I’m gonna have to re-write this whole thing (ed. note: they got the skrilla, now it’s time to convince the old hipsters to let the new hipsters make some noise this weekend, and make some dirt for the street cleaning machines to sweep up for your $80.00 tickets).
Good Day Sirs.
Links for the Day:
– Punkscrock (via Stereogum)
– New shit from Mandy Moore’s main ho (via Stereogum)
– A lil somethin’ heady from the Captain (via Captain’s Dead)
– It’s called “I’m Working at NASA on Acid” why wouldn’t you watch? (via Pitchfork)
– Refugee Rock (via KCRW)
– Another Chach tribute song (2 days scrub, 2 days) (via Stereogum)
– If my dog wasn’t a Fraggle I wouldn’t post this… (via LA Music Blog)
– Band of Horse (singular) (via MOKB)
– Lookin good Tom, lookin’ real good… (via Glide)