Yesterday was a very mundane day in the life of the Jam Van. To put it in perspective, we tried to get lunch at a farmer’s market and showed up too early! First off Silver Lake, what kind of hip-ass garbage is that? Who starts a fucking farmer’s market at 2PM? Farmer’s certainly don’t. Farmer’s get up at the ass-crack, so I’m sure this wasn’t their decision. Thus, I can only blame Silver Lake as a whole for tricking me into thinking I would be able to get lunch before my meeting over there. I ended up honking at an amigo with an ice cream cart to come to the side of my car and hook the Budaphest and I up with some fuel to get us back to the west side and our familiar taco trucks.
So since we already started out the post by talking about a farmer’s market, you can’t imagine that it’s going to get much more enthralling past this point, can you? Well, I guess it all depends on your perspective. At any rate, the first order of business necessary to discuss is the welcoming of our new sound technician. His name is Matt, he’s in a band (in a band within a van, within a band, in a van, it’s some Inception type shit)(ed. note: I ain’t understand that movie neither). Y’all should check out Matt’s band, and furthermore, check out his new shit, the Jam Van type shit. Because he promises to have some real functional audio tracks up for your listening pleasure real soon. While we can’t call him the Captain quite yet, as he’s really just a wee bit young for that (ed. note: more the Jim Hawkins type), we will say that Cabin Boy abides, and for now, his cabin is our bathroom sound-booth, which I guess has now become Matt’s bathroom sound-booth. So welcome Matt, we promise we won’t shit on you (in the bathroom sound-booth).
Next order of business, and this is a real quick one… We recently lost our main promo-ho, LeLe on da’ Keys to the Beast Coast (that’s “ho” in the selling our shit type sense, not in the other one. If you were to get fresh with her we’d probably have to knife you out). Anyways, the job itself is pretty simple. All you need to be able to do is yell “Jam in the Van.com” and throw stuff at people. We don’t expect you to have Le Le’s exact charm or to be able to mimic her perfect pronunciation of our name, but we do expect you to be a girl, and to enjoy fun, and to be interested in working both days at Sunset Junction. So if that sounds like you, and you need some cash and a good time (holy shit that sounds exactly how it sounds, ha), then shoot us an email (email@example.com) (duh).
Alright, keepin’ it quick and painless today, clearly I have boredom to make up for…
Quote for the Day: Chach to me – “Just keep on blogging. All the greats started out blogging. Hunter S. Thompson wouldn’t have been anything without his blog. Jimmy Hendrix is only known as a great artist because of his blogging…”
Witty Retort for the Day: It’s like Dylan going electric you stupid fuck!
Track for the Day: Outkast – “Rosa Parks” off of Aquemini. Because it seems that y’all have forgotten how good these dudes were,and how cool it is when you mix southern ghetto shit, with “space-futuristic-type-things.”
Links for the Day:
– This is fine, and I was tellin’ y’all this shit was bunk from day one, but on a real tip, if you touch our “Jam in the Van” Facebook page you will die, regardless of if you are an “idea” or an “ass-bag.” (via Huffington Post)
– Oh Noel, you’re so deep… “like rain” ha, fuckin’ chach. (via Stereogum)
– I dunno if I’d say “heartbreaking,” but it’s nice. (via SPIN)
– “Life’s a bitch who sleeps with four feet…” (via Prefix)
– Lollapaflooza roundup (via Jambase)
– Thizz your faces off to some Euro-bu@*-ish (via Jambase)
– What’s next from the greatest music site of all time… (via JAM IN THE VAN silly!)