It was recently divulged to me, that Ethan, our sound engineer, has taken hostage a very valuable blue rubber chicken better known around JITV as the Sex Chicken. The chicken has the squawk of an angel, and belongs on the mantle in the performance area, where artists like Mara Connor can enjoy its energy. Ethan disagrees. I vow that I will seek out the secret dungeon within the bowels of The Van, where Ethan’s hiding the chicken, and I will return it to it’s rightful thrown in front of the cameras, where all eyes can henceforth enjoy it.