HA! There’s about like 8 of y’all, maybe a few more that just got excited when they saw that headline on top a the Facebook or whatever shit’s you’re reading this on. Well I got news for you (ed. note: Deez, Go-Rilla, Crazy Jonny, etc.), this shits ain’t about the infamous DJ Audio Dice. The most famous DJ I’ve ever lived with. Which is to say the only one. Which is to say he was mostly a drug addict. Which is to say you should definitely blast his mix tape.
Now, as much as I’d like to make this post about mornings waking up and finding cocaine plates being passed around by scary dudes with bent pinkies (ed. note: for real, craziest shit ever, dude’s pinkies went at like 90 degree angles)(ed. note: shudder)… As much as I’d like to make it about nights spent with my room door locked while P.E.A.C.E. from Freestyle Fellowship stood outside threatening to end my life because he was on a bad trip (ed. note: fuck that really did happen, hadn’t thought about that in years)… As much as I’d like to make this about that one time close to dawn when Crazy Jonny stole Audio Dice’s favorite pair of Mickey Mouse ears (ed. note: you know, the ones that he got a blow job in at Disney on the anniversary or some shit) and Audio Dice told him that they were gonna “take it to the streets,” as much as I’d like to talk about all of that and more, I can’t. You’ll have to pay for that when the autobiography comes out circa 2045 (ed. note: I’ll have to make it past that tricky age of 27 first)(ed. note: luckily I’m only 17 and don’t have to worry about that for a while)(ed. note: 2 weeks) (ed. note: fuck, not ready to die)(ed. note: it’s only a 50/50 shot).
What I’m gonna talk about (ed. note: albeit briefly) is the new audio set up that our site is about to have. Because y’all don’t seem to be utilizing it properly yet, and the only people we can blame for that are ourselves (ed. note: I blame all of you for a lot of other shit though).
So Cabin Boy is on his way over as soon as he drops his kids off at daycare (ed. note: that’s why he drives a mini-van I think…). He’s gonna hype up the system, it’s going to be much more clear what y’all are supposed to do with the little Soundcloud links at the bottom of the videos… This is not an editor’s note, this is me just telling you that you are supposed to either download them for your Ipod under the playlist “Jam Van Sessions” or “Badass Jam Van Sessions” or “Coolest Shit Ever” or stream them while you are sitting at your desk at work and can’t have videos on the screen because you have a creepy boss who looks at what’s on your computer screen (ed. note: if he does happen to see it, ask him to like us on Facebook).
So, Cabin Boy is arriving. The audio will be arriving soon. I hope y’all will get down with it, because these are some pretty damn good live recordings, by some young bands that may still be around in 10 years. Then you’ll be the dork whose got those crazy good early Jam Van Session bootlegs and you’ll probably impress some slut/dudeslut and you’ll probably get laid. So there you have it, start using our fucking audio, it will get you laid.
P.S. If you want to locate the infamous Audio Dice, he’s in North Scottsdale “where the money’s at.”
– Track for the Day: “All I Can Do Is Write About It” by SKYNARD, off of Gimme Back My Bullets. Because we’re posting country shit today, and because Skynard, even when cheesy, soft Skynard, is still Skynard, and Skynard is my fucking shit (ed. note: except for “Sweet Home Alabama” that shit is stupid and I’m from Cackalack).
– Links for the Day:
– Bob Dylan Outtakes, need I say more? (via Captains Dead)
– More from Ladies... (via Pitchfork)
– Nevermiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind, but we do (via Stereogum)